Today I was given a rare gift…my mother had a moment of clarity. I don’t know what others call it, but is a brief crack in the confusion/delusion that is Alzheimer’s. It is when the person connects with you, has an understanding that their perceptions are clouded by something, and can clearly hear and partially process both new information and old memories. If you have seen the movie “The Notebook”, you will understand that precious moment. My Mom is in a nursing home for a week while my Dad is having a week of respite, well deserved. Our conversation began with her crying, and ended with her asking me to tell my Dad “Thank you” for all he is doing for her. She said he didn’t deserve this to happen and she wished she could stop it. I can’t express what having her spontaneously offer this meant to me. It is so hard to hear her rants about him, knowing that while not perfect, he has more than risen to the situation. He has had to learn new behaviors and ways to think, which is never easy, no matter our age.
While at times I feel sorry for myself because I am the one who has to hear the terrible things she says, my gift today made it all wothwhile. I got to see the person my Mom was, not only her disease. Alzheimer’s teaches each of us many things…gratitude was not something I was bargaining for.J